Sunday, May 8, 2011

As you lay dying
on that bed, flowers surround.,
will your friends come crying
hug you in tears
call your name and swear they'll remember you?
will they think of how
u would always make them laugh
will they remember you as the treasure they have found?
will they think it to be a loss, a hole in their life? 
will their tears dry up
as they leave the room instead?
will your loved ones wail for you,
long for your one last glance
will they remember your smiles your laughter and your words
will they give their arms for that one final goodbye?
will the pastor stand and acknowledge you
will the choir sing to respect you
will the congregation be reminded of how beautiful your life was?
will there be any sighs when they think of how you touched their lives?

Will it be just another usual day
will people flock to feel the usual sympathy?
will prayers be said the usual way
will it be just another gloomy day, the day u were to go away?

And as you lay asleep, stoned and silent.,
Will you be watching from above
All the circus thats happening down below,
the cries, the longing
Will you be up in Heaven's rest, the Lord's love abinding
Or will you scream from hells under
repenting yet all in vain
will you be shouting words of pain, fumes and boiling gases?
and yet nothing to stop your screams

Will you be brought to Glory or to Doom
my friend its none but for you to choose
there lies in you the choice to make
this life and now is the time!!

Friday, December 10, 2010


 Okay!!!! this is what i did tonight, goofing around during the recess of an entertaining skit that one of my friends in the KTP put together. I was one of the 3 "in-charges" but i have to fill in for one of the gals we had appointed. Dayeemmm!!i thought i'd be free this year but looks like the yolks on me again!!
                                              Me and my friends have to do a bollywood number to its hilarious most possible, Henry Varte being our coreographer. It turned out we were pretty interested and contributed all sorts of unimaginably hideous moves. Gosh!! i laughed so hard during practice that i forgot the direction in which i have to run, hence my party messed up in front of the entire cast of the grand Christmas play!! I ended up getting all sorts of reminders not to mess up in the real show!
                                             By the way, we are only 3 weeks away until Christmas..YAAAY!!! This year has been good so far (all thanks to GOD). I got introduced to the world of myself a cute little office all of my own, then got a job in the govt sector....i got to visit Chawngte L and Pailapool, two places that i never knew existed...and a lot more blessings to count.God has been good to me and my family.
                                            Last year i lost my favourite person, my mentor and my spiritual guide and counsellor-My Grandma, and i miss her terribly. At the time i had thought my world was crashing down because i was preparing for a job in the PWD, when my granny fell ill and was hospitalised.I had to nurse her day and night coz there wasnt anybody else who was free. Sister no 1 had her univ exams, sister no 2 was in the hostel, sister no 3 had her entrance exams and my 1 and only brother hadnt even had a driving licence yet!!..I had prayed to God to let my granny live at least until i finish my exams but she passed away in the morning hours of the day i was to sit for the exam!!
                                              God's way is really strange when you really think about it!! Though i had cursed myself for being such a looser, but how my life turned out this year is what perplexes me and got me thinking of nothing else but the song ...........
"But His way is God's way...
Not Yours or Mine
Isnt it Great
When he's four days late
He's still on time???""

Monday, November 22, 2010

nosey situation

                         The other day the power went off just as i was about to listen to Christmas songs and do the long - due dusting in my office...Drats!!i was thinking of wiping the floor as well and working without music is like an engine without just doesnt flow ......(what a metaphor!!) Disgruntled, i slumped on my sofa and stared at the ceiling for a while..The staring was soon boring and tiresome...(strained the neck actually..). I glanced down at my phone and decided to keep myself busy texting. I guess everyone was busy because none replied within the next 30 mins.
                        So, i clicked on the camera, and started taking pictures of myself from various angles...
I also discovered the ugly truth about my nose....My nose has always been big but i never really paid much attention to it nor be in any way intimidated because of this feature.I guess it runs in the family because both my paternal and maternal grandpas have huge noses,and i inherit that particular trait on the double...
The dissapointing factor is that my nose is as wide as my lips!!!!booo hoooo hoooo hoooo hoooo
Here's what i am talking about.......

You dont need a measuring scale for sure!!

So i started thinking if i have ever been laughed at or mocked at because of my nose and i couldn't seem to recollect any instance whatsoever!many a times people mock me for being fat but my nose has never been ridiculed.
I remembered the song we used to sing in school"why complain...."

Therefore, i went on clicking more ...and more mug shots of myself in the quiet office room...
 Itried with a side shot....but the nose is still so big!

so i thought..what if i could cover my nose and never show it in other snaps??
I would always look like this...kinda awkward!!

 oh well!!!winking might help..if it doesn't- then i always have plastic surgery to count on...!!!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

childhood affairs....

                                    Weddings are such delightful events that nobody want to miss out on..As a child i was always so fascinated by weddings and brides. Whenever there was a rumor about a girl getting married in our locality, i'd wish to be invited to be a flower-girl..I'd start dreaming about the dress i would wear, and secretly start to collect candy wrappers for confetti...(We used to collect the wrappers from roadsides, gutters and sometimes even buy lots of candies ,just so we could make confetti out of them)
                                    The fun part is, I was never alone in my wishful thinking cousin sisters were always up and about, and we would take a plastic bag-the green/blue floral ones from Burma...(typical polythene) and roam around our street in search of anything shiny and silvery- the more the glitter, the better.
                                     We would then cut with scissors, into the most minutest of pieces we could achieve.These fruits of strenuous manual cutting would then be mixed with the small confetti that they sell in the market. We were equally excited to make the baskets to put them in. Sometimes, the bride's or groom's family would make them for us, some decorated with laces, some out of coloured paper, some box-like and some conical..Cones were for tots and box-like ones were for the older children-that was the rule!! No negotiation entertained!! The closest of kin to either the groom or the bride would be the leader among the flower girls and all would suck up to her!! She would ultimately be the real flower girl- the one to hand over the bouquet to the bride, and none had the rights to complain.
                                        I still remember the time when my aunt was to be married to a guy from Chaltlang. The prestigious opportunity was upon me to decide who would be the flower girls from our side. I had a major "buttering" session from my pals. Some would come up to me and ask if they could be included. And I, fully aware of my chance to be high and mighty...would decline saying they were not related to us in any way...Poor girls and so mean of me to be so bossy!!
                                        I guess this childhood fascination still hasn't left this head of mine. The fact that I always try to attend a friend's wedding,or browse for wedding gowns in the web, and take second glances everytime i pass by Bridal boutiques are all tell tale signs that i still am a die hard fan of weddings and wedding thingys...LOL


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

CAD Ztt..

                          This entry is dedicated to Zothantluanga (Ztta) who passed away on the 18th of September,2010..
                          I met him when i'd joined Bial Zaipawl in 2009.  He sang Tenor and i, Contralto. He used to sit behind me at practices.He was quiet, funny at the same time and a talented musician. He played the guitar & keyboard with ease and was always one of the song leaders in many of the KTP functions....
2009 passed with not much of a communication between us except for the usual hi and bye..But fate got us closer this year when we, the BZP had to go to Chawngte L . The trip brought the members of the choir closer than ever before. The guys still meet after church services almost every night for chit chat and to sing together. They're more like brothers than friends.
                         Onward and backward journeys to and from Chawngte L, Tta had the guitar to himself, playing all the requested songs as we bleated our lungs out in the bus.  I believe he had not, for  a single moment, been relieved off the task of strumming the chords.Yet he was the most enthusiastic of the lot.
                           Ztta was well versed with the tonic solfa and was blessed with a good voice.But he never showed off in any manner whatsoever. I remember the time when he would softly hum the song we were practicing - to guide us- those who were singing contralto.We just couldnt hit the right note by ourselves and the other members were constantly complaining about it. He was our knight in shining armour that night. 
                          He never complained about anything at all. I often told him about my problems and he would always promise to pray for me.
                          Shortly after we returned home from Chawngte he began having fever. He had gone to Durtlang Hospital on the 18th of September for a check up, where they had discovered he had jaundice and was admitted to the hospi immediately.But his antibodies could no longer withstand his illness and he died the same evening.
                          We miss him terribly and his memories will forever remain in our hearts. I cant still get over the fact that hundreds of people in and around his locality, Tlangnuam flocked to pay their last respects to this insignificant quiet lad and how everyone's eyes was red with tears, from the smallest kid to the older ladies who used to teach him in the same sunday school where he had taught many.
                     At his funeral service,We bade him farewell with one of the songs we had practised together in the choir, but all of us couldnt sing ,with tears welling up in our eyes and the lifeless body beside us.The guys especially wept throughout the entire song!!! His place was there among the tenors yet he was laid in the coffin.He wasnt there in body but we know, he was there in spirit singing "Ka Kir leh dawn, ka Lalpa hnenah...." to HIM whom he had served with gladness in his heart!!


Sunday, August 8, 2010


Have you ever googled random words that sprung to your mind like "bored" or "spinster" when you realise that all of your friends have found their fare share of prince charmings and drifted off to their wonderlands?? I am a google fanatic if ever there can be one. I have the habit of google-ing (i doubt if there is such a word but its so convenient to use...)each and every word that pop up in my head. I like to google names and i have in fact, searched for all names in my family!! I still remember the entertainment I got from google-ing my name and found 144,000,000 results. I didn't explore every link but I like some of the results I found..Here are a few 

#1  I Like this sticker to start with..:)

#2  An illustration from one of the Children books (i guess..??) by Grace Lin,Children books author and illustrator

#3  The song Amazing Grace...Our hostel warden's husband in Shillong, where I had studied Cl XI & XII
used to sing the first line of this song ..every time he saw me.

#4  Layla Grace Marsh, a beautiful baby who was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma.On March 9, 2010, Layla Grace lost her 10 month battle with cancer.  The last update on her Twitter page reads: “Layla went to play with the angels early this morning. Rest in peace precious Layla. 11/26/2007 – 3/9/2010.”

# 5 Grace Kelly, the original beauty, the true image of Grace and the face that speaks a thousand heartbeats....sighhh

Thursday, August 5, 2010


First of all.. i think i am a bit over enthusiastic to have 2 entries in a day..!I doubt if i'll be able to keep up like this later but tonight  i feel that i am compelled to engrave so. Its 10:22 pm by my watch now.I am back from the routine Bial Zaipawl choir practice..Ya ya  to those who know me so well, im as surprised as you are when i was given the appointment..I, of all the young girls in my locality, Kulikawn,am the most unlikely person in the whole wide world to be given the position.Its not strange to see people come up to me and say"How come??" and "were u ever good in singing?". i always answer them short and clearly.."No i am not good in singing" or "Ya, i find it strange too".

My parents in fact are the most surprised ones..Yet i am in the choir..Though it may sound very cliche' but its none other than God's plan,mysterious as it is, to work His way into my life through this prestiged opportunity..I am not going to ramble about how i manage to cope with the pressure and expectations because that itself is one lengthy testimony..

My sincere wish is to share to you,that one should never ever restrain oneself to shout(yes shout!!)out for his glory.I was never a good singer even when i was young but i remembered putting my best efforts during Naupang Inkhawmpui (Sunday school conventions??) But adolescence suppressed the efforts because i was afraid my voice would break and thus i end up with a voice as worthless as it is now..

I regret having suppressed,and being ashamed of my voice when it was way clearer than it is now..if only i had sung to my hearts content then..if only i had exercised my vocal chords growing up, i wouldn't have felt so insatiable now..And so i learned never to be ashamed of what i have been blessed with.Like the Gospel Hymn says.."O for a thousand tongues to sing, My great redeemers praise"..Even if i have the most melodious of voices, the most powerful voice on Earth, i still wouldn't be able to sing and convey the glories of His name, the wonders of His ways and the magnitude of His love...

But for all that he has done for me.. i cannot go any other way but bellow out His praise inspite of all the inabilities in me!!